Iâve waited a long time to write to you concerning the burden that I have been carrying. I wanted my words to be seasoned with the correct attitude so I have waited. I waited until I no longer thought about it daily and until I had checked every corner of my heart. This morning when I woke up, I knew it was time to write to you. This burden will not end any time soon, it comes around every year with the Aviv cycle.
The first year of following the Aviv, Nehemia Gordon took a stand against my reliability as a new moon observer and reporter when he withdrew my report and photos and said that I was not a reputable witness. I have been given opinions on why this happened, but they arenât facts, only Nehemia can provide facts and of course I have been cutoff from communication. Elohim did fight for HIS witness and my name as HIS witness was cleared by the Israeli New Moon Soc.
The second year, and Iâve never spoken of this publically, my husband changed his beliefs about the biblical calendar. He wanted me to not be involved in the observable calendar because of the 13th-month issue, he felt it was rabbinical and I was in error. I did not budge because I understood that it is the testimony of our Messiah that I love so much. But it was a devastating year as he publically spoke against me. I praise my Elohim and Savior that it is behind us now and he is observing the biblical calendar in concert with the Aviv barley and new moons. HalleluYah. It was a rough year but we made it.
I suppose the situation with my husband and Nehemia Gordon deeply seeded what I already knew, we can not follow personalities alone because of where a person lives, what their genealogy is, or what level of charisma they have. That we have to be spiritually responsible enough to be a deep student of the scriptures, matching it with the secular history of Israel, the Land, and both the old and new testaments.
Which brings me to last year, my experiences have made me bolder in my stand in protection of the testimony of the Messiah. I believe from my personal studies that scripture reveals a significant component of belief in the Messiah came when the first-century Believer’s understood their salvation came through understanding the feasts and the picture of the Messiah that the feasts paint. If you look closely, there is much terminology from Matthew to Revelation that refers to different aspects of the feasts.
Last year, I was a little more outspoken to you all about not following personalities and about mentioning why and how I didnât believe what the Karaites believed and some others were mentioned. Also, I have also told you in the past and tell you again now, that what I believe the scriptures are saying affects how I see the elements of the feasts from a land prespective (barley, wheat). How I see the land affects what I believe the scriptures are saying from a language perspective, so telling you what I believe and why I believe it is a service not the proselytizing of you. I even told you about why I didnât agree in all areas with the brethren that I had made inspections with (i.e., that the new moon has to be seen from Jerusalem). My statement was not a condemnation of them it was only a statement, in retrospect, I probably should not have made, but I believe it was a nondeliberate reply to an accusation that I was not âfinishingâ what I had started by not staying to observe the new moon in Jerusalem.
If I could give you ONE thing from my experiences, try your hardest not to follow anyone but the Messiah. Do not be afraid to stand on the truth of His words or to say why you believe what you believe. It will cost you in this world, it will at times hurt, there will be sorrows. But on the other side, there will be reconciliations and joy, I believe there will be. There was an old youth song that we use to sing when I was in church. It said “you can’t get to heaven on another man’s coat-tail’, it is still true. You won’t be able to point to anyone and say because you I was led astray, each of us will be judged on the decisions we have made in our own lives. Decide well. Decide fearfully before the One Who sees all.
Did Paul stand against the circumcision? Did he plead with the brethren not to be carried away by the circumcision? I know there are some of you that are still reading Nehemiaâs bible studies and I say to you that you are at risk of being carried away. James 3:11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Since Nehemia doesnât know his kinsman redeemer can he teach you the scriptures when Genesis to Revelation teaches us who the Messiah is? Again, I have damaged me with my words in the minds of some of you. You are at risk of being carried away when you follow anyone without laying their words beside the words of the Bible. However, for those just waking from their spiritual slumber into the truth of the Biblical calendar and feast. For those just waking up to the truth of the Jewish Messiah, the first years are the most dangerous for being swept away by another man-made religion.
There was an unfortunate newsletter that was sent out during the Aviv inspections this year by a brother and some on the list that received it thought I was responsible for mailing. It caused some of the recipients to think that I was speaking for those I was not speaking on behalf of. I do not blame this brother, I still call him brother, I know the intention in his heart was not wicked in what he was trying to do. The newsletter was bits and pieces of many things from a few sources, and without understanding this, things were put together in the minds of some readers and the content of the newsletter became entirely out of context.
However, because of the course of events, I have been âset-out” again. I won’t say anything less than this particular event has been very painful because I threw my whole heart and love into people I believe to be the body of Messiah. You don’t know the sorrow of loss until you lose those you love. Death is more certain.
Many of you that have been following me for a while know that my following of the wild barley on the land was something the happened and not something I sought out for myself. I talked about that in the report of the season in the first year. I will tell you a solid fact, it is truer today than the day I found my first wild barley on the ridge about the Kinneret. My Elohim knows that this is a burden I carry. I have no need for fame, notoriety or recognition. It brings judgment, inspection, and condemnation with it, it brings praises and pedestals. None of which have ever been my goal. None of which I desire.
So I find myself with the burden of Elohim. I’ve often read about that term in the Old Testament and never truly understood it until this year. It means something that brings persecution, but something so precious and right and holy you cannot walk way from carrying it. Something that is sweet in my mouth (the understanding of the scriptures) and bitter in my belly (the sorrows and persecution). I will be honest, there is no desire in me to be a âpartâ of any of the Aviv inspections this year. Not even in doing one myself. Every year has brought a major sorrow. And yes, before the first season, I had counted Nehemia as a friend, every year there has been a loss to me.
But, here I am in Israel on this land. And I must be obedient to know the calendar of Elohim for myself and not because of another manâs report. If I were still in Central America, if I were living in the US, I would find that one I trusted for a report and I did do just that during those years. I will be conducting my own inspection for me. I will not report to you my findings of the Aviv barley. You have a reliable source for that at www.abibofgod.com that has much more experience than I do. I do not need to build myself a reputation or to be a part of any competition over the most follows of the Aviv. Let others I see coming up on the Aviv horizon chase those dreams. I will continue to share the pre-Aviv information and the season from Aviv to Shavuot.
I have not lied, I have not deceived, I have not willfully broken a command or the intention of scriptures. I do not fear you, I fear Elohim. When you came into the group it has been clearly told to you that I am opening my beliefs, a part of my life, and the things that I observe on this land to you. I have clearly told you that anything I do can be used by your to worship the Father and our Husband, but prayerfully and fearfully decide what you embrace and what you reject. I know there are spies, or gossips, that report my activities to others, I have been told so and I believe the person that told me because of their accuracy of detail.
I try to keep other beliefs from being shared in this group. It’s not a forum, it’s my personal life. My story of trying to hold the Bible in my hands on the Land it was written about and dig deeper by the Spirit of the living Yah. I can’t meet your expectations, but I fear I will not meet His. I still love those that I have loved. You are free to continue to observe my journey on this land as I search out His ancient path on the old roads.
I am not seeking loving words of support from you all. When we seek those things we receive our rewards on earth.
Shalom.Updated Aug 4, 2018, 9:12 AM